MECHELLE CICHY
THEWRITEEMPATH@GMAIL.COM

​      “Hey, Dan!  How are you doing?  Looking good these days!  I saw your ex-wife yesterday with someone in her car.” Cathy told her friend when they met at the gas station.  “I didn't recognize him but he was a big guy.” Then she added with a bit of a wink, “He wasn't bad looking either.” She had been pumping gas as he drove up to the tanks.
    
     Dan couldn't even manage a weak smile.  “Where did you see them? Where were they going?”
    
      “Oh, I don't know!  I was leaving the grocery store parking lot when she drove past and I recognized her car.  I was just wondering if she had a new boyfriend.”
    
     “How would I know if she had a new boyfriend!  She doesn't tell me anything. How could she think about bringing a stranger around our children?!” Dan's face was turning red, but he tried to conceal his emotions.
  
     “Hey,” Cathy said.  “It's no big deal! You guys have been divorced for 6 months.  It's about time to start new lives. It will be good for both of you.”  She was finished pumping her gas. As she placed the nozzle back she added, “I gotta get going.  Have a great day!” 
    
    As she drove off she couldn't see Dan seething.  Nor could she have anticipated his next moves. Dan peeled out of the gas station parking lot and headed to his ex-wife's apartment.  Her car wasn't there. His emotions ran wild.
    
    “Where is she?  I bet she's with him.”  He muttered under his breath as he sat parked in a position he could see her pull in and know when she returned home.  His head was filled with crazy thoughts.
    
      How dare she find someone else already?  We never should have divorced to begin with.  If she had listened when I told her to do something she wouldn't have made me angry.  I never meant to throw those scissors at her, but she wouldn't stop ignoring me when I wanted her to do something.  
  
       All I ever asked her to do was keep the house clean and have my meals ready on time.  How hard can that be? Instead, she made our 6 kids do her housework while she was busy flirting with guys.  She wouldn't have had time to talk to anyone else if she was doing everything I told her to do.  
    
     At least she doesn't have the kids.  She's already corrupted them enough. That damn judge was an idiot allowing her to spend any time with them.  Can't he see she's a horrible parent? What kind of parent makes them do her chores? There's no reason she can't do the dishes every day.  Why does she have to make them do them?
    
     When Dan looked at his watch, he saw he had been parked there nearly two hours.  He couldn't give up. He needed to talk to her now and find out what she was doing and who she was with.  He could text her, but she ignored those. Besides, the last time he did text she went running to the police claiming he was harassing her.  He just wanted to talk to her.
    
      Every time he tried to talk to her she threw that recorder in his face.  He had to be careful what he said because they always turn his words around on him.
    
    He saw her car approach the drive to her apartment building.  Finally, the bitch was getting home. Where the hell had she been so long?  Who had she been with? She wasn't working on a Saturday. She had no friends.  He'd seen to that. He made sure to tell everyone what a horrible person she was, and how she treated him so badly.  He'd been so good to her. He bought her things to replace the ones he broke when she made him mad. 
    
      He followed her car in and parked in the spot next to hers.  She was alone and he saw fear on her face. Good. She should be scared.  She's a mother. The mother to HIS children. She shouldn't be out running the town.  He caught her in the act. He KNEW it! She was out whoring around again.
  
      “What do you want, Dan?  You don't belong here.” She had already pulled out that damn recorder and was holding it in his face as she asked him those questions.
  
     “Why do you always have to have that thing in my face?” he asked as he pushed it away from him. “I just want to talk.”
    
       “You always just want to talk, but you never have anything nice to say.  If you aren't attacking me, you try to take my words out of context and pretend I said something I didn't. So, we can't have a conversation without this recorder so there is proof of what we both said.  It's as much for your protection as it is mine.”
    
     “Where were you today?  Who was the guy you were with?  Was he one of your boyfriends while you were still MY WIFE?”  The recorder wasn't going to stop him this time. He needed answers.
    
      There were cars in the parking lot but nobody was coming around.  Carol looked around her nervously, realizing Dan had gone into “the zone.”  That's what she called it. He was out of his head and one of his rages was coming on.  There was no way to talk sense into him when he was in the zone.
    
     “I don't know what you are talking about.  I was alone! I went shopping and out to dinner ALONE.  There were no boyfriends when we were married. There are no boyfriends now.  Where are my kids? It's your weekend with them.”
    
     “NOW you want to worry about MY kids?  Where were you all their lives when they needed you?  What were you doing while they were doing your chores?”  
    
     “You're delusional.  The only reason things didn't get done as you wanted them to was because YOU insisted I spend every waking moment with you so I couldn't do the housework.  All these boyfriends you claim I had are all in your own head. I didn't even have time to be with my children, much less have time for boyfriends, as you call them.”
    
      His face twisted up in rage.  He'd heard about all he was going to listen to.  This bitch had broken up his family, hurt him and his kids, dared to leave him and now she was talking back, blaming HIM for all of their problems.  HOW DARE SHE!
    
      Before she knew what happened, she was dead.  From out of nowhere, a knife had appeared in his hand.  He'd killed and gutted out plenty of deer when he went hunting.  He knew where the most effective arteries were to make it quick and clean.  It was over.
    
​    Carol never had a chance to scream for help.  Her neighbors were aware of their divorce and that he was abusive.  If any of them had seen him in the parking lot with her, they would have either been watching with a phone in hand ready to call for help, or gone to stand outside to be closer in the event she needed quicker help.  But, this time, this one time, they never saw a thing.

    Dan was long gone by the time one of the neighbors came out to go to his car and found her lying half under her car where she fell.  He saw the pool of blood before he saw her body. He broke down as he called it in to 911. They had become friends in the short time she lived there.

    Would Carol still be alive if Cathy hadn't told Dan what she saw?  Maybe. Maybe not. If it hadn't been Cathy, it might have been other friends saying something.  They both still lived in the same hometown. Dan was jealous of anyone Carol talked to. He had spread lies about Carol when she left him.  He didn't want any of their mutual friends taking Carol's side. They had to know he was the victim. He had trusted people back up his lies to make them seem more real. 
    
      Domestic abuse is like an invisible illness.  From the outside, everything looks healthy. On the inside, everything is breaking down and falling apart.  For this reason, when a victim suddenly leaves an abuser, it takes a lot of people by surprise. It's a simple thing for the abuser to win friends over by playing  the victim. They never knew the hidden truth.
    
​      The rumors and lies spread easily until it's hard to figure out what is true and what isn't.  Dan told everyone that Carol left him and had been running around behind his back. Because they had never seen problems in their marriage from the outside, friends sympathized with him and often repeated these lies until most of the community believed his story.  Who would believe her now when she told the truth?

If you have a story you would like to share, or give your voice a platform, please email us at whenibecamefree@gmail.com.
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If you've missed any of our issues, also be sure to check them out! Remember...pass them on! Thank you for paying attention!

If you're a regular reader or a follower of When I Became Free's Facebook page, then you know we've been working hard at giving a voice to issues and raising awareness around the plight of domestic violence, child abuse and sexual assault. In October of 2019 we started publishing a digital weekly newspaper to help promote awareness, address issues, and remind survivors that they are not alone. 

All of this is being done by volunteers - volunteers who write for the paper, volunteers who put the content together and publish it. 

At first we thought we could support the project with subscriptions - at least we gave it a go. That decision never sat right with me even though I am the one who made it.  We did get some subscribers, which we are incredibly thankful and grateful for, however the goal of this project is "no barriers" toward safety and healing for survivors. 

I re-evaluated the decision, contacted the subscribers we did have, and announced we would consider subscriptions as sponsorships so that we could make free the paper for all.

Since the paper started we have put out 12 issues. The weeks of Christmas and New Year's we took off and mainly because I was sick. I am unable to write as much as I once did so instead I do the pagination and some editing of the paper. I wear the editor/publisher's hat. 

I rely on the talented and vocal survivors we have writing for us, Mechelle, Kelli and Savannah - at times others have submitted pieces. Then of course and unfortunately, there are  always press releases and news about tragedies that take place any given week, including lives lost to domestic violence and child abuse. 

I  long for the time when I am unable to find those tragic stories. 

There's the backstory to the weekly news, as for the When I Became Free project itself, like life it has had some twist and turns since coming to be - but, the goal remains the same, bringing awareness to issues and survivors of domestic violence, child abuse, and sexual assault. 

Now...
This is where YOU can help...

If you have a story you would like to share, or give your voice a platform, please email us at whenibecamefree@gmail.com. 

Same is true if you belong to an organization and you have news to share. 

Share the paper with others...

And if you feel so moved think about sponsoring our efforts. 

See below and help us grow! There are three levels of sponsorship: $25, $50, and $100. If you have a difficult time with the dropdown menu below, just zip off an email to us at whenibecamefree@gmail.com..

If you've missed any of our issues, also be sure to check them out!

Remember...pass them on!

​Thank you for paying attention!

By Mechelle Cichy

​After a woman leaves an abusive relationship, who helps her? There are a lot of assumptions about all the people who can or will help her when she leaves. But, what is the reality?

For the longest time, I was blissfully unaware of the true scarcity of help for women who need assistance escaping an abusive relationship. I just assumed she would call the local domestic abuse organization and they would get the ball rolling for her.

In my mind, they would make an escape plan for her or just come sweep her up to safety. She would be protected when she left and they would place her (and any children) in a shelter where there would be no access for her abuser. They will help her fill out all the legal paperwork and get her set up with a new life.

Unfortunately, I was so wrong in so many of my assumptions. Escaping can be one of the loneliest and most terrifying periods of the victim's life. There is limited to no help in many areas of her escape to a new life.

First of all, it isn't easy for the victim to make any call for help at all, and especially to a domestic violence organization or shelter. Her communication may be monitored or controlled by her husband or boyfriend. Fear will cause her to second-guess herself many times before she finally does make the call.

Secondly, the domestic violence organization usually doesn't enter the picture until she has actually committed to leaving or has already left on her own. They don't just come in and steal her away. Instead, they may try to help her map out an escape plan, or tell her to run to the nearest police station or hospital. They can work with her there.

That's the easiest part of her escape from her abuser. Running for safety will be the easiest, least stressful part of her getting away from the abuse. Abuse organizations are all different, but one thing is consistent. They are always short on supply and long on demand. This may cause there to be a limited amount of aid they can render in an escape situation.

Not all abuse centers have shelters to house the escapees. The ones that do are usually full to capacity, so if the victim doesn't already have a safe place to run to, she may end up returning to the abusive relationship just to have a place to lay her head at night.

Legal aid is necessary for the newly-escaped victim. An abuser usually cripples his victim's ability to make decisions. Also, she has no idea what steps to take legally to protect herself, or even what order in which to take those steps. Does she immediately file for divorce? Is a restraining order necessary? Is it even possible? (Yes, this is a valid question. Without proof of danger to herself, she may not be able to get one.) What paperwork does she need to fill out? Where does she go to get the paperwork?

Most abuse centers have legal advocates available to help the victim with these questions and more. They can help fill out the necessary paperwork. But, they cannot tell the victim what to do or give legal advice. She will need to get a lawyer for that. (Which is hard to do without money, and most escapees are penniless.)

You might expect law enforcement officers to be ready and willing to help the victim as she starts out on this frightful journey. However, that is seldom the case. The officers frequently feel like they are stuck in a he-said/she-said scenario. Many times when there is a problem, they arrest both partners and fine them rather than try to figure out what really occurred.

Then, there's the matter of the children. It is likely the parents will share custody, even if there is an abusive parent. Until he or she is proven to be unsafe for the children to be around, they will still have full access to the children. (And often use this time to poison the children against the parent who escaped.)

The kids are confused at the split living arrangements and schedules. They may have witnessed abuse at home before the parents split up, but that may have been nothing compared to the bitterness and evil which may become apparent after the split.

When children are in crisis, they seldom know how to express their feelings. Instead, they act out in various ways. This can include telling lies and some extreme behaviors. They become hard to handle for both parents, teachers and any other caregivers in their lives.

This can lead to problems for the escaping victim to find reliable help with child care. She needs someone who is aware of the dangers her abuser presents and knows how to react if there is an incident. This person also has to be an upstanding citizen above reproach, or there may be accusations of unfit parent at any divorce proceedings for subjecting the children to an unsavory character. The accusations may be false, but they will still be thrown at the victim in an attempt to hurt her.) And this chosen caregiver must be patient and understanding in dealing with poorly behaved children who are dealing with emotional issues.

Such caregivers are not easy to find in general. The best bet is usually family members and close friends, but the victim may not have these available. Her abuser may have driven away or scared off whatever support she might have had at some point. And what about finances – money and employment? Most of the time, victims escape without a dime to their names. Even if she has a steady job already, it's doubtful she saw much of her own paycheck before she left. The worst abusers even refuse to allow their victims to work because it is impossible to control what is being said or revealed to others who may support an escape plan.

So, if she wasn't already working, she has to find a steady job and the transportation to get there. She can try for child support, but many times he will find ways to avoid paying it. When she finally gets a place to live, she still has to refurnish it herself with limited to no funds.

If she still has family and friends who support her, she may lean heavily on them for lack of anyone else who can help her. Years of abuse have given her trust issues, so she's afraid to trust anyone new. Her self-esteem is shattered so she doesn't trust her own judgment either. She may rely on her few support people to tell her what to do and how to do it, too afraid to take a step on her own.

It takes a long time to regain confidence after leaving an abuser. It's frightening. It seems that life is attacking from every direction. She cries herself to sleep many nights feeling overwhelmed and very alone.

​So many people ask why they stay with their abuser, or why they went back after they left once or twice. These same judgmental people never ask, “what can I do to help her?”

Do you like what you see? Then consider becoming a subscriber - Starting in November the news will be available by subscription - 
Yes, it is true! A weekly digest of news just for survivors, their loved ones, and advocates!   Once you subscribe, every Thursday you will receive your copy of the digest in your email. It will be sent to you in a pdf format. 
  Every week we will bring to you news on new laws and/or pending legislation affecting survivors of abuse (child abuse, domestic violence, and sexual assault.)
   We will memorialize victims of abuse who lost their lives in the preceding week. 
   There will be survivor stories - former victims now living free of abuse will share their struggles and their triumphs!  
    By subscribing you are helping us to provide avenues of support at no charge to survivors in need. This includes our video conferencing weekly support group which will soon begin. Those meetings will be held every Saturday from 11 am until 1pm. You are also supporting guided journal workshops. Your support will  help us organize speaking events as a vehicle for survivors to increase their confidence by sharing their story as they reach out to others, proving their is a light at the end of the tunnel.  This in turn will create a network of inspirational speakers within communities to help promote awareness. 
   As we grow we aim to help survivors increase their foundation for a better life by offering them a chance to earn money as freelance writers. 
​   We hope you see the value in this endeavor. ​
Subscriptions
  3 months = 12 issues $18.00 USD   6 months = 26 issues $32.00 USD   1 year = 52 issues (greatest savings) $50.00 USD  
​​​

Mechelle Cichy
thewriteempath@gmail.com
   One common denominator among survivors of all forms of abuse is low self-esteem. Regardless of whether the abuse originated when the victim was a child or if it began during adulthood, the effect is still the same. People with self- esteem issues have a very low opinion of themselves. They feel unworthy of love, respect and friendship. In fact, they feel unworthy in general. Many times they allow themselves to be treated as doormats by everyone they encounter because they feel inferior to every other human alive.

In order to manipulate and control their victims, abusers beat them down emotionally and convince them that their lives do not matter. Using phrases such as, “you’re stupid,” “nobody else could ever love you,” and “you can’t do anything right,” the abuser drives home the fact that the victim is worthless. Over time, these phrases are burned into the victim’s thoughts until they become reality.

Quite often, low self-esteem plays a large part in making the victim feel that leaving is impossible. It causes victims to have no confidence in their own decisions. Most likely the abuser has insisted on making all decisions for them both. The victim may recognize how toxic the relationship is, yet still feel escape is impossible.

The survivor who escapes has a long, hard journey ahead to find the confidence and self-esteem that the abuser stole. Even simple decisions are hard at first because there’s no confidence in the ability to do anything.

What can one do to build up self-esteem and learn to feel confident? Confidence comes with success. If I had to come up with just one thing to tell anyone trying to gain self-confidence and self-esteem it would be: Just do it! Whatever the thing is you are afraid to try, just do it.

Start small. Try making a small goal each day that pushes just past the comfort zone. Do things the abuser wouldn’t permit. Make new friends and go to lunch with them. Take a spa day and get your nails done. Break those barriers the abuser set up. He isn’t in control anymore. It’s scary at first. Anxiety will rule the day when an attempt is made because fear is the body’s typical response. But, it’s time to push past the fear and JUST DO IT! Success is a heady feeling!

Sure, there will be some not-so-great results once in a while, but there will also be some surprising successes. With each success comes greater confidence.
Secondly, take a leap of faith and join society. Trusting other people is hard after having been in an abusive situation, but it has to start somewhere. Join the book club that meets on Sunday afternoons. You will learn that the others really do want to hear your opinion on the book of the day. Search for local events and get to know people around you. Take up a new hobby and join in a group. Volunteer at a local shelter.

Thirdly, pay very close attention to your self-talk. Don’t put yourself down. Just because your abuser called you worthless doesn’t mean you should agree with him. Stop saying things like “Oh, I’m so stupid.” Your brain believes what you tell yourself. Instead, spend some time each day recounting your assets and abilities. Make it a point to find something good about yourself daily.
​
Assess how far you have come every few months. What things can you do now that you couldn’t do six months ago? What would you like to be able to do six months from now? Be proud of yourself. Celebrate your successes, even the
small ones. It’s a great feeling to learn you are worthy after all!

Yes, it is true! A weekly digest of news just for survivors, their loved ones, and advocates!   Once you subscribe, every Thursday you will receive your copy of the digest in your email. It will be sent to you in a pdf format. 
  Every week we will bring to you news on new laws and/or pending legislation affecting survivors of abuse (child abuse, domestic violence, and sexual assault.)
   We will memorialize victims of abuse who lost their lives in the preceding week. 
   There will be survivor stories - former victims now living free of abuse will share their struggles and their triumphs!  
    By subscribing you are helping us to provide avenues of support at no charge to survivors in need. This includes our video conferencing weekly support group which will soon begin. Those meetings will be held every Saturday from 11 am until 1pm. You are also supporting guided journal workshops. Your support will  help us organize speaking events as a vehicle for survivors to increase their confidence by sharing their story as they reach out to others, proving their is a light at the end of the tunnel.  This in turn will create a network of inspirational speakers within communities to help promote awareness. 
   As we grow we aim to help survivors increase their foundation for a better life by offering them a chance to earn money as freelance writers. 
​   We hope you see the value in this endeavor. ​
Subscriptions
  3 months = 12 issues $18.00 USD   6 months = 26 issues $32.00 USD   1 year = 52 issues (greatest savings) $50.00 USD  
​​

By Eva Marie Woywod
whenibecamefree@gmail.com

I had just taken a shower and plopped down on my bed to type out an article for a looming deadline day. I was in a bit of a rush, so much to do and so little time to do it in. My mind was racing because I knew my estranged husband had been on a 3-day weekend binge. Those threatening phone calls told me all I needed to know. Just as I started typing out my article I heard the front door open. Something inside me told me I needed to click audio record on my laptop. To this day I am grateful for trusting my intuition during a time I really had a hard time trusting anyone, let alone myself. 

August 13, 2007 changed my life, it changed my children's’ lives, and it most definitely changed the life of the man I once believed was my Prince Charming, my soul mate. 

The hour plus audio captured on my laptop documented an assault that will forever be etched into my memory. It was the day I was physically, emotionally and sexually assaulted by the man I vowed to love and stay loyal to for the rest of my life. It was the day our two young sons witnessed their father do unspeakable acts to their mother. It was the day my youngest son, my baby boy, grabbed a baseball bat and wielded it on the man he so once respected and looked up to and all while his older brother attempted to pry his father off of me. 

Somehow we managed to escape but not before the damage was done. I grabbed my sons, my clothing, and that laptop. We rushed to the car and headed to the police station. I could still feel his hands around my throat. I could still see his face twisted in rage and I could still hear his words echoing in my mind. 

Flanked by my sons I walked into the local police station. I am sure I looked a mess. When greeted by an officer I already knew on a professional level, I produced my laptop and expressed that I was just sexually assaulted by my husband and I captured it all in an audio file. 

I was emotionless for myself. I couldn’t cry. I wasn’t mad. I was in shock even though there was a part of me mourning  the man he used to be, or at least, the man I once convinced myself he was - a fantasy. 

Lieutenant Jackson took the laptop while an officer pulled me into their break room. My boys sat in another room and were speaking to another officer. As I was filling out the report I could hear what I had just experienced echo through the hallways of the station. I could hear my screams, I could hear my whimpers, and my pleadings. I could hear my children's’ screams as they begged their father to stop, “you’re raping my mom!” screamed my eldest who at the time was just 13 years old. “I got him,” screamed my then 9-year-old baby boy as he hit his father on the back with the bat. The whack was audible. 

It then hit me, everyone in that station was listening to me living a nightmare. Everyone was hearing me being assaulted in ways no man should ever do, especially to the woman he vowed to honor and cherish. I wanted to die. 

Needless to say the evidence I had of the crime we had just suffered was enough for a conviction. My abuser received 8 years in the Wisconsin Department of Corrections and 6 years of extended supervision. He now carries the label of a registered sex offender. The boys and I carry the hearts of being survivors of domestic violence and know that marital rape is a very real and violent crime. 

My experience with marital sexual assault taught me lessons. Prior to that assault I was already a survivor of child sexual assault and sexual assault as an adult. All sexual assaults are crimes and all leave wounds that must be tended to and cared for. Marital rape, often now called intimate partner sexual assault, along with incestuous sexual assault, leave yet additional scars as the trust you once had for someone you loved is now shattered in pieces - there’s a gaping hole left in the wake and often is filled with self blame and guilt. 

The assault I suffered was blatant but that is not always the case. Often times the abuse of power and control is far more subtle much like any form of domestic violence can be. 

According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network),  intimate partner sexual violence can occur in all types of intimate relationships regardless of gender identities or sexual orientation. Intimate partner sexual violence is not defined by gender or sexuality, but by abusive behavior.

They go on to state- Sexual violence in a relationship is rarely an isolated incident. It often occurs alongside other forms of abusive behavior, including physical and emotional abuse. For instance, the majority of women who are physically assaulted by an intimate partner have been sexually assaulted by that same partner.

Intimate partner sexual violence often starts with controlling behavior that can escalate to further emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.

Warning Signs of abuse include a partner who:
*Attempts to cut you off from friends and family
*Is extremely jealous or upset if you spend time away from them
*Insults you, puts you down, says that you can never do anything right
*Tries to prevent you from attending work or school
*Tries to prevent you from making decisions for yourself
*Destroys your property, attempts to harm your pets
*Threatens to harm your children or take them away from you
*Tells you that you are worthless and that no one else could ever love you
*Controls your finances

Sexual abuse includes:
*Forcing the victim to dress in a sexual way
*Manipulating the victim into having sex or performing sexual acts
*Insulting the victim in sexual ways or calling the victim sexual names
*Holding the victim down during sex
*Demanding sex when the victim is hurt, sick or tired
*Hurting the victim with weapons or objects during sex
*Forcing the victim to watch pornography
*Involving other people in sexual activities against the victim’s will
*Ignoring the victim’s feelings regarding sex
*Purposely trying to pass along a sexually transmitted disease to the victim

Another form of sexually aggression is,sexual coercion. This involves one party persuading or forcing the other to make sexual contact.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that nearly two-thirds of women who reported being raped, physically assaulted, or stalked since age 18 were victimized by a current or former husband, cohabiting partner, boyfriend, or date, according to the National Violence Against Women Survey, 2000.

The same survey found that approximately 1.5 million women and 834,700 men are raped and/or physically assaulted by an intimate partner each year.

Among women who are physically assaulted or raped by an intimate partner, one in three is injured. Each year, more than 500,000 women injured as a result of intimate partner violence require medical treatment.

Among women who are physically assaulted or raped by an intimate partner, one in three is injured. Each year, more than 500,000 women injured as a result of intimate partner violence require medical treatment.
​
 The health related costs of intimate partner rape, physical assault, and stalking exceed $5.8 billion each year, nearly $4.1 billion of which is for direct medical and mental health care services, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Costs of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women in the  United States Available on-line at: http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/pub-res/ipv_cost/ipv.htm.

Yes, it is true! A weekly digest of news just for survivors, their loved ones, and advocates!   Once you subscribe, every Thursday you will receive your copy of the digest in your email. It will be sent to you in a pdf format. 
  Every week we will bring to you news on new laws and/or pending legislation affecting survivors of abuse (child abuse, domestic violence, and sexual assault.)
   We will memorialize victims of abuse who lost their lives in the preceding week. 
   There will be survivor stories - former victims now living free of abuse will share their struggles and their triumphs!  
    By subscribing you are helping us to provide avenues of support at no charge to survivors in need. This includes our video conferencing weekly support group which will soon begin. Those meetings will be held every Saturday from 11 am until 1pm. You are also supporting guided journal workshops. Your support will  help us organize speaking events as a vehicle for survivors to increase their confidence by sharing their story as they reach out to others, proving their is a light at the end of the tunnel.  This in turn will create a network of inspirational speakers within communities to help promote awareness. 
   As we grow we aim to help survivors increase their foundation for a better life by offering them a chance to earn money as freelance writers. 
​   We hope you see the value in this endeavor. ​
Subscriptions
  3 months = 12 issues $18.00 USD   6 months = 26 issues $32.00 USD   1 year = 52 issues (greatest savings) $50.00 USD  
​

By Kelli Bungert
kbungert@yahoo.com
     Kelli Bungert is from central Wisconsin, and a survivor of childhood rape, incest, and domestic violence. She also a survivor of adult rape and incest at the hands of her biological father.

     In my last article I wrote about how my three children were taken away from me. Having my kids ripped out of my arms just because I was living in the aftermath of abuse almost destroyed what was left of me. Yes, I was raped and sexually assaulted, abused emotionally and physically. But the moment I had the kids I was filled with hope, and found I had strength I didn’t know I had. My kids saved my life.
    Last Sunday I was reunited with one of my children. The ride felt like it took forever. The anticipation made me antsy. I couldn't sit still, and was so happy I smiled the whole way there. It had been 17 years and I was about to see my daughter for the first time since she was 3 years old! Was I nervous? Yes, a little. Was I scared? Not at all!
    When we got to the house where my daughter is living, and I got out of the truck and we just ran toward each other, and hugged for the first time in 17 years. It was the most incredible feeling to have my arms wrapped around my baby once again.  
    We spent time talking and getting to know each other, and found out that we have a lot in common. We both play guitar, draw, and want to make the world a little better. She is a very bright, smart woman and was her high school valedictorian. She graduated with a 4.0 GPA and is going to school to become a Registered Nurse. 
    Finding out she was conceived by rape really upset her, but we are OK, and she knows that I love her no matter what. She knows that I am here for her and we will make it through this together. We have a lot of healing to do, but I think we are off to a pretty good start.
    Before leaving I gave her my guitar and told her it will help her through the hard times. She is writing a song about keeping her head held high. From what I have heard so far it’s going to be amazing. 
    Thank you for taking the time to read this. Stick around, there will be many updates to follow. Enjoy life and be happy. It’s the only chance we get. The future is ours.

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